This week was also a bit overwhelming with moving and getting oriented into some of the new responsibilities I have as what they call a sister training leader. I have been incredibly humbled the past week. Each day I notice a new weakness, and there are certain things that I've struggled with throughout my mission that are still working their way to become strengths. I've relied a lot on prayer. The week before I got the call that I was leaving was really hard. I was overwhelmed with training and some of my current responsibilities and inner struggles. I was still working hard, but I didn't know why I was. I just knew that I was happier when I worked that when I did anything else. But I still didn't understand what was wrong with me. I was praying to have something change to push me and force me rise up. Many times during my life, I have felt as if I'm only enduring, not thriving. I wanted to thrive. This transfer has been an answer to my prayers. I am so happy. I don't know how to describe it. Happier than I've ever been in my life. It didn't come all at once. It actually was a decision I made. I know I say this each week, but being a missionary has changed the course of my life for the better. As I have magnified my calling, I have been happy. I've met my best friends. Here's a quote that Lori sent me that went along perfectly with how I feel about this last week:
"If we are always taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we will not be."
and.. “We find that experience can produce a high spiritual yield. Laban, for instance, was reluctant for Jacob to leave his employ, “for I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me for thy sake.” The modern Church even today is instructed to “wait for a little season” to build up central Zion. Why? So that we "may be prepared…and have experience.” (D&C 105:9-10) We gain knowledge through particular experiences, but only incrementally, “in that thing.” (Alma 32:34) Hence, the ongoingness of it all, and perhaps we can be forgiven for wondering, “is there no other way?” Personal, spiritual symmetry emerges only from the shaping of prolonged obedience.”
Hence, I'm still learning. I'm worried that I don't have enough time left to learn what I need to know. I'm worried that I'll leave not having accomplished all that the Lord had set for me to do. Even with my 100% effort each day, I feel like I'll still have more that needs to be finished.
Anyway. Sorry for my rant/sermon. I haven't been able to write in my journal for about 7 days, so I'm hoping Mom will print this out so I can just use it for my journal entry for the week.
Car: I'm back in a car. And I'm already missing the bike.
Christmas: We decorated the flat for Christmas already because Sister Bertha will be leaving before.
University: I can already tell I'm going to be completely at home here. I'm loving it :)